Most of us live by values. Our relationship is also based on shared values that are dear to both the partners. What are the values you live by? They may be- Honesty, speaking truth, helping others, understanding others, caring for others, being compassionate and such other values that you may be sharing with your partner.

Do you live by these values in your work life? Many of us compromise our values in our work life to achieve quick results and money. When it comes to living by the values in work, we do not think about scarifying the values to reach targets and achieve quick growth. are you also doing the same?

How many of us do not lie? How many of us behave carelessly towards others/ how many of us cheat others for small gains? We are ready to sacrifice most of our values to reach our material goals. We justify all our actions. But this gives us dissatisfaction. we are not happy because we do not feel accomplished by getting success in this way. This dissatisfaction affects our relationship.

Slowly we also begin to compromise on our values with our partner. In love, we say- I will care for you. In love we promise total faithfulness. In love, we promise that we will sacrifice our comfort to make our beloved comfortable. In love we promise many things including never hurting our darling. When it comes to living by these values, we break most of them. We bring down our love to a give and take and justify our wrong actions with every possible argument. As that becomes apparent to our partner, they object to that and friction begins. This friction may lead to break- up. The essential factor is to live by values in all areas of our life. Once we do that we get happiness and confidence. Our relationship thrives because of that.

Yourromanceguide.com offers hundreds of articles and tips on relationships, dating and love. Myspace users, click for myspace comments such as compliments, cool comments, love, flirty, birthday, holidays, religion, funny, cute, etc. If you love trying Quizzes and tests, visit funquizcards.

Copyright 2007 by MyLastingLove.com. All Rights Reserved.

Husbands can create a loving environment and successful marriage by showing their wives how much they are loved and cherished. In his ground-breaking book, “Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars,” John Gray outlined the important differences between men and women. One of his key findings is that wives love to be touched and held.

Wives love to be told, in a gentle and humble way, how important they are to their husbands. One of the most touching ways that a husband can show honor and respect to his wife is to write a personal wedding song for her. No matter if a husband has been married for a month or longer than 50 years, he can renew his marriage every day with a personal wedding song.

“What me sing? No way!” most husbands may say. “I can’t carry a tune, let alone do a solo.” While it may seem challenging, a personal wedding song is simply a love poem set to music. I know from personal experience of writing, recording and singing a wedding song to my wife, that it can be done. When I started, I had no guidance, just a gut intuition. All it takes to get started is to know what steps to take and then take the first step. Here are six steps every husband can take to show his wife what a treasure she is.

Step One. Acknowledge Your Wife

Write down five attributes that you love about your wife and admire her for. What five would you choose? Is she, an excellent listener, your best friend? Does she have a friendly and warm smile or a hilarious sense of humor? Does she love to surprise you? If you can list ten or more things, all the better.

Step Two: Write Down the Special Things She Loves

What does your wife treasure? My wife Cheryl loves purple, she loves to hold hands and be hugged, she is very action oriented, she is so thoughtful, she never forgets a family member’s birthday. She loves greeting cards, music, plays, going out to dinner. She is very wise about relationships. A personal wedding song should focus on what is unique and special to your wife and your relationship.

Step Three: Put Yourself and Your Feelings into the Song

I wrote a personal wedding song for my wife after 14 years of marriage. I titled it “Song of Our Marriage.” I wrote a touching refrain that honored her with a title, her role in my life and what that has done for me. The lyrics to the refrain go like this:

“Teacher of wisdom, you’ve shown me God’s face, your strength is gentle and fine as white lace. You listen with heart strings that sing out a song, it’s your love that makes me feel strong.”

Using your list in Step 2, choose several of your wife’s best traits and write down what they mean to you. If you need help with rhyming, you can get a Rhyming Dictionary. Or you can read books of poems or search the Internet through a Google Search to get a starter idea. Make sure to personalize your words, though, so that they come from your heart. You want to be authentic; a cheap copy of someone else passed off as your own may work against you.

Step Four: Make It Simple: Two Verses and a Refrain (more if you can)

Make your personal wedding song easy to sing, but unique to your wife. For example, remember the poems that start, “Roses are red, violets are blue?” You can expand that phrase into a verse, like:

“Roses are red, violets are blue,

I can’t see myself living without you.
You are my wife, the crown of my life,
my life would be empty without you.”

Step Five: Use a Familiar Tune for the Music

Did you know that is acceptable to “borrow” a melody (as long as you don’t sell it or claim it as your own) for your personal wedding song? In fact, if your wife has a special song that she likes, you might learn how to write lyrics that go along with it. If you get serious, you could find a musician or studio to help. When I wrote “Song of Our Marriage,” I figured out the melody by humming it, plunking out the keys on a piano and then finding a studio that produced the accompaniment. Use the Internet to find someone who can help. With downloadable MP3 files, you can actually produce a song on your PC.

Step Six: Sing the Song to Your Wife and Frame the Lyrics

Now comes the most important part – the delivery. Don’t write a personal wedding song and then stick it in your golf bag. Perform it for your wife. Record it. Frame the lyrics and hang the song in your bedroom or kitchen. For “Song of Our Marriage,” I created even a photo album with pictures of my wife in Lilac Park, in Disney World, with her friends, and more in several sections. Each section of the album reflected the verse and refrain from the personal wedding song.

There you have it, six steps to writing a personal wedding song for your wife. It takes work. If I can do it, you can do it too. Go ahead, take a risk. Your wife will be deeply moved by your touching gift and care for her.

About the Author

Dave Pipitone is a business owner, author, parent, husband and professional communications manager, writer and editor. Visit http://www.songofourmarriage.com
Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dave_Pipitone

Copyright 2007 by MyLastingLove.com. All Rights Reserved.

It is your mother’s birthday what do you give her? You made your wife angry, what can you do to say you’re sorry? Your best friend’s husband just passed away what can you send to show your sympathy? Your sister has the flu and needs cheering up, what may bring a smile to her face? Did you answer flowers to all these questions? Have you realized that flowers are perfect for any occasion and now you are left with wondering why?

Why should you wonder? Flowers are beautiful. Flowers are an actual gift of life, color, fragrance and beauty.

They fit any and every occasion because people like flowers. They look cheery. They say you care. They are something that will need a little attention.

Plus, flowers come in a variety of styles. You can choose the popular rose. But that popular rose also has its own unique varieties. You can buy the traditional deep red rose, a soft pink rose, a yellow rose, a peach rose and yes even a black rose, plus much combination of these colors.

Flowers also come in a variety of price ranges. If you can’t afford those beautiful roses, you can buy a nice modest bouquet of carnations. Many people find these equally as pretty, if not even prettier than that popular, yet expensive rose.

Then there are the combination planters that hold a potted plant such as trailing ivy along with some added cut flowers for flair and additional splashes of color. These plants can be fixed in an array of planters as well. You choose a basket type style of planter, a ceramic pot, a clay pot, a plastic pot, etc.

Another good thing about flowers that makes them so popular is the fact that you can have them delivered. They can be delivered across town or across the country. When special arrangements are made, you can even have them delivered to other countries. This makes it nice when life gets busy and we aren’t able to be with our loved ones, when we want to show our support, our love, our sympathy or our gratitude, when we can allow the flowers to speak some of the words for us.

When ordering a flower to be delivered, ask about how long it will take for delivery. You want the flower to arrive on the precise date of the event being celebrated or honored. If possible, you may even want to pay a little extra for rush delivery. Then make sure that the order taker makes out a nice card, with your own words to attach to the flower. Say something about how you wish you were there in person. Then follow up with a personal phone call to the person receiving the flower.

If you ever have any problem in choosing a flower, don’t hesitate to speak to a salesperson for help. If you tell the person the reason you need a flower, he/she will surely be able to point in the right direction of an arrangement, a bouquet or a plant that will be perfect.

Another reason why flowers are perfect for any occasion is the fact that almost everyone loves flowers. If you don’t believe this is true. Buy yourself a flower arrangement, a bouquet or a plant and see how it brightens up your space.

Jeffrey Meier of Jam727 Enterprises at http://www.Jam727.com offers information articles on a wide variety of subjects including Flowers Articles at http://www.jam727.com/flowering/Flowers.php

Copyright 2007 by MyLastingLove.com. All Rights Reserved.

In his book, “Good Husband, Great Marriage,” Robert Alter affirms the strength and goodness of men. Particularly, in their ability to serve their wives. One of the greatest services a husband can give his wife is to tell her, “You are my best friend.”

Women find their meaning in relationships and relating to others. That includes feelings of love, joy, being connected, and celebrating life. As a husband, you can learn much from your wife about a strong, loving connection.

A fine dinner and night on the town are wonderful ways to connect with your wife. But a romantic love letter — ah, a personal love letter to your spouse is something that is kept and treasured. A life coach once told me that she worked as a chaplain with retired, rich people in their eighties who needed to move into a retirement community. They had to sell their large homes, sell or give away most of their material goods to move into a small one-room apartment. Guess what things they kept? Photos and letters. Personal memories of the best times that life had to offer. Precious treasures that money can not buy.

Encouraging words carry tremendous, positive energy that continues to touch the hearts and minds of people decades after they are said or written. It’s been said a handwritten love letter carries its own power because it is personal — written by the hand of one person who loves another.

So, if you desire to build an even stronger married relationship with your wife, tell her exactly what she is longing to her, that she is your best friend. Do you want to know how to write a love letter that will bring a smile to her lips, a tear to her eye and a prayer of gratitude that she is married to you?

Start with a notepad and jot down a few ideas of what your wife means to you. Does she have a sense of humor or a smile that knocks your socks off? How is she beautiful? How does it feel to you when she touches you and you touch her? How do you feel when she does all of those little things that save you time and aggravation? How do you feel when you go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning seeing her next to you, day after day, month after month, year after year?

Once you have those thoughts on paper, let them sit for a few hours or a day. Then, go back and circle or highlight the phrases and sentences that mean the most to you. If you feel a tug at your heart strings, or a tear forms in your eye, that is truth ringing through. Next, get a nice greeting card or sheet of stationery and write out your love letter. Here is an example.

My dearest Mary, You are my best friend. Every day when I wake up, I look over and see you sleeping securely and safely next to me. I am grateful for your (here is where you list the phrases from your notepad – smile, generous spirit, thoughtfulness to me and the children, etc.) I am so glad I married you. Today and always. Love, (your name.) Let your wife know how much you treasure her.

About the Author

Dave Pipitone is a professional communicator, loving husband and devoted father. For more information on love letters to your wife, visit http://www.songofourmarriage.com

Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dave_Pipitone

Copyright 2007 by MyLastingLove.com. All Rights Reserved.

The out-of-pocket cost of marriage counseling can be greatly reduced when the marital strain is affecting one or both of the partners and increasing symptoms like anxiety or depression. If the couple chooses a licensed mental health provider they may be able to use their health insurance benefits for covered family therapy sessions in order to alleviate their symptoms. In such cases insurance may cover a large portion of the costs. However, no insurance company will cover therapy just to improve a marriage. Some private information, at least a diagnosis of a mental disorder, will have to be documented and released to the insurance company.

Many times the marriage may not lack love or commitment but the partners may need relationship skills such as assertiveness, emotional regulation, and communication skills. A good marriage counselor will help the couple focus on the process of improving the relationship, increasing intimacy, and resolving conflict, as well as teaching skills. Many couples are not able to do this without a neutral person guiding them. It also takes an investment of time and effort to change habits.

So what is the return of investment on a thousand dollars or several thousand dollars spent on marital counseling?

The success of marriage counseling is not guaranteed. Therefore it is an investment that has a certain amount of risk.
It is possible that both partners will leave the counseling sessions feeling it was a complete loss of time and money. However, that risk may be smaller than you would think. A recent study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family (Volume 22, Number 1) reported surprisingly high rates of satisfaction in a survey of clients from 526 marriage and family counselors in 15 different states. More than 90% of the respondents rated the services as good or excellent, said they got the help they desired, said they were satisfied with the amount of help they received, said they were helped in dealing more effectively with problems, and said they were generally satisfied with the help they received.

The potential monetary return on investment of successful marriage counseling could be enormous. Think about these few obvious potential sources of monetary return:
·The cost savings of legal fees for divorce and child custody proceedings.
·The cost savings of maintaining one household instead of two.
·The cost savings of more secure children and avoiding the tendency of parents to try to buy children things out of guilt.
·The cost savings of transportation due to shared parenting in two households.
·The cost savings from not losing work time for divorce/custody activities.
·The cost savings from avoiding a second (or third) wedding. Not to mention dating and honeymoon expenses.
·The health care cost savings. Research has shown that strong marriages are a big factor in health and longevity.

But the cost savings are minor compared to the potential benefits compared to other things our money could be spent on. What is the potential return of investment on a good marriage?

Even if marriage counseling may cost more than a thousand dollars, how many things have more potential for increasing our quality of life and happiness than a good, secure intimate relationship? Adults who would not question spending thousands of dollars for braces or for a good education should seriously think about what a good marriage would mean to themselves and their children in terms of health, happiness, and success in the future.

About the Author

by Susan Huebert
L.S.C.S.W. Susan has practiced counseling in Wichita KS for over 15 years. Visit her Marriage Counseling Wichita site to learn more about marriage counseling.

Article Source: Article North directory

Copyright 2007 by MyLastingLove.com. All Rights Reserved.

Do you find yourself wanting to make everyone happy, even if it means you are not? Have you hidden yourself in order to survive in your family? If you answered “yes” to the above, you are not alone. In my counseling practice, I have discovered numerous people pleasers, also known as adapters. After they overcame their issues and felt free to be their unique selves, I called them “Recovering People Pleasers.”

For example, Judy, a thirty-four year-old mother and wife, came to me because she was depressed. “I feel emotionally strangled by my husband,” she said in an angry tone.

Knowing that men and women often marry people like their mothers or fathers, I said, “Judy, go back to the time you felt that way. To her surprise, she regressed back to when she was two-years-old and her parents were yelling at her. She was crying and felt devastated. The decision she made from that experience was, “I have to please them or I will not be safe and loved.”

Then I asked Judy to go inside of her body and find the little girl that she locked up in order to survive in her family. She found little Judy in her heart, all curled up in a fetal position. I encouraged Judy to tell her little girl, “I am an adult now. It is safe to come out and be who you are. I love you. I will take care of you and protect you.” I guided Judy to imagine that she was taking little Judy to her home where she presently lived, to create a special room for the two-year-old, and then to say to the toddler, “This is your room from now on. We will walk life together hand in hand. It is safe to be who we are and we are loved.”

Judy took a deep breath of relief and felt much lighter and happier. She then realized that she chose a man who would fit her belief. I encouraged Judy to express to her husband in a loving way how she felt and what she wanted. I also recommended that she practice win-win problem solving so that they both felt empowered.

Can you relate to Judy’s story? Are you ready to be who you are and express your truth in a positive, loving way? When you don’t, you resent the people around you whom you allow to control you. In a sense, you become a puppet and give them the power to pull your strings. Then you are likely to be passive aggressive and get back at them in deceptive ways.

For example, you may make excuses to avoid being physically intimate, get sick, arrive late, be sarcastic, burn their dinner, or avoid spending time with them. Those negative behaviors are hurtful to them, you, and the relationship. This includes all forms of relationships, including lovers, children, parents, bosses, and friends.

I encourage you to resolve your fears of being who you are so that you can be happy, healthy, and loved. Then you can also be a Recovering People Pleaser.

Copyright 2007 by MyLastingLove.com. All Rights Reserved.

The challenge nowadays is particularly severe. As more and more young men and women are working in far-away places, away from each other. The traditional way to connect to each other by loving touches, caresses or cuddling are not there. Additionally, absent are opportunities to spend quality time in each others company as well as in the company of friends and relatives and acquaintances. What about conflicts and arguments? These, in their own way, strengthen relationships and can make them more fulfilling. If your are apart, then it is extremely difficult to resolve these in a nurturing way.

So how do long distance couples maintain their relationships and keep on going? One way is to bring your partner near to you by placing their photograph on your desk, kitchen counter and in the bedroom. This will remind you of your companion all the time. You should also regularly update your common acquaintances with your partner and not allow him or her go out of your social loop. This will help maintain the picture of your partner constantly fresh in your mind.

Use e-mail, chat and voice mail to stay in constant touch with your partner. This communication need not be limited to How much I miss you and love you line but to real discussions concerning day to day issues. You furthermore have to work out who will take care of kids. The choice ought to be based on practicality, and not on customary arguments that the mother ought to bring up the child.

Yes, the mother is most suitable to bring up a child. But if she is working in a place where there are no decent schools then it is the father who has to accept this responsibility. So, even if you are separated, your problems are the same as any couple, and you should still try to resolve them together as a team.

Try and be with each other on at least one occasion a month or once a quarter depending upon the circumstances. Also do not insist that only your partner ought to travel. You also must take time off your agenda and visit your partner as well. Allow there to be a healthy and common respect for each others work. Only then will your relationship endure across the long distance.

Thought it is tough to thrive in this type of situation, a strong trusting relationship will endure this. In the end the hardships faced as a team can be a really positive long term binding effect for the future of the relationship.

About the Author

by Udo Vieth
. Udo has a website dedicated to
Relationship Secrets. Check it out for the latest on how to make your Relationship Sizzle.

Article Source: Article North directory

Copyright 2007 by MyLastingLove.com. All Rights Reserved.

What are the reasons for marriage failures? First and foremost, a couple should understand the reasons for their marriage failures and relentlessly, try to save their marriage. There are several reasons that can cause marriages to fail often leading to separations and divorce. Reasons behind a marriage failure are likely having a misunderstanding where lack of communication from couples are experienced, arguments due to money matters, infidelity and reasons whether the marriage at the beginning was a failure.

In order to save a marriage, the couples must be willing to undergo some changes in the way their marriage is viewed. Effort, patience, and understanding are necessary to make a marriage work. The following factors can help marriage failures save marriage by adding efforts by renewing the relationship between both partners.

Mutual interests are important for married couples where couples need to have intimate moments together to share and learn about mutual interests of their partners, where differences can arise that through understanding can ensure respect and a stronger relationship for marriage couples.

Unpredictable schedules can also cause marriage failures, whereas both partners lack time for one another. Togetherness, after marriage, is very important most especially in time spent together, where passion and intimacy is practiced. But without the proper time given to their partners, they tend to loss interest and begin to disregard one another.

Communication is a very important matter in a marriage. Lack of communications means also lack of understanding, whereas couples tend to quarrel without considering any feelings for their partners, therefore, a continuance of their misunderstandings are left unresolved.

Criticism in a gentle-like manner is likely to save a marriage. Couples often make gestures offensively without their knowing, resulting for the partner to make criticisms that can lead to arguing. As much as possible, offensive criticism should be avoided in marriages, whereas gentle criticism can make the relationship in a marriage stronger.

Another factor is children, and having children in a marriage relationship are wonderful yet it can also cause marriage failure. Because as children, they tend to give problems that can arise in differences with the couples due to possible different disciplining tactics for their children.

Gifts are beautiful ways to give to a spouse as a sign of their love and with gift-giving, a spouse can woo their partner and even warm the heart of the spouse helpful to saving a marriage.

Saving a marriage is very typical for those couples that still have love in their hearts. As said, romance should always be alive in a marital relationship because if there is love, marriage becomes stronger and longer for the couples. With just a little effort from both partners can liven up the relationship in the marriage and make marriage worthwhile for couples on the verge of a break up.

Most partners have disputes about sex and money, but having terms of endearment allows both partners to remember the main reasons why they got married. As such, renewal of vows is also advisable for saving a marriage because vows tend to challenge couples to reach their goals in having a perfect marriage.

Marriage can be perfect especially for couples in love but having a perfect marriage needs effort from both partners. Marital problems can result in divorce and separation, however, with the right tips for saving marriage, couples will be able to cope and solve their marital problems.

About the Author

By Hector Milla, editor of http://www.mygoodmarriage.com/ :: tips on saving a good marriage ::

Article Source: Article North directory

Copyright 2007 by MyLastingLove.com. All Rights Reserved.

First of all, the normal hurdles that younger couples have to work their way through are seldom of concern. Careers are over for most seniors. Children are raised and have left home. Home buying and other major acquisitions were made in the distant past. Well, then, it sounds like all should be quiet on the romantic front, doesn’t it?

That’s not necessarily so. Seniors who have reached an advanced age, say past seventy, have often established some very strong opinions. One person put it to me this way…”There are a lot of ways to go to the mailbox.” It isn’t something that is often noticed on the surface. Habits become solidified and attitudes, opinions and reactions become pretty firmly entrenched without much fanfare. Long, comfortable marriages seem to support the “I Did It My Way” that Frank Sinatra once sang about.

Seniors who find themselves alone, usually because of the loss of a partner, don’t have current skills at dating and selecting a mate. How could they? And what worked in their late teens or early twenties is usually way beyond obsolete. Unfortunately, most “don’t know that they don’t know” and assumptions are usually rampant.

Dating often becomes a stiff affair involving a meal out with friends or alone and maybe a movie. More often than not, a marriage is contracted with no baseline of reality to hold it together. Each partner knows how things should be, which is how they always were in the past, right? Wrong! Issues of all kinds arise when no serious consideration is given to varying points of view.

The land of assumptions is the direct opposite of deep, investigative conversations. What should be seriously addressed are attitudes about sexual behavior, the handling of finances, the division of labor in the home and yard and how various adult children are going to be involved. And that’s just for starters.

Even when this is done, deep honesty may be by-passed. Telling it how it would be “lov-er-ly”…not how it is can be an easy trap to fall into when trying to win someone over. Often adult children react to a late in life marriage of a cherished parent differently than the hopeful parent thought they would. In other words, they may be hard to second guess.

One senior couple I know quite well sailed into marital bliss with the wife being promised “nooners” by a husband who was sure she would be the cure for his sexual impotence. He also guaranteed that his grown kids would love anyone he loved and that turned out to be a bust. They hadn’t talked about finances because neither of them was comfortable with the subject, so another hurdle loomed. A decade later they are doing very well but it looked, from my vantage point at least, like it was a long, uphill climb.

What seems to work is to take it slow and easy, and see what evolves. Neither partner can be a replacement for the one who is gone. New attitudes may have to be considered and new patterns created. When seniors marry it is not usually a rerun of an early-in-life romance where the pieces just fall in place automatically. It is new and different and needs to be treated with great respect. Seniors are wiser, we can all hope, but not as durable in most cases. The resilience of youth has usually come and gone.

Anyone wanting to remarry late in life might be wise to talk with other senior newly-weds, their own grown kids, a beloved minister and/or even a counselor. Why not stack the deck favorably?

About the Author

by Luise Volta
.
Luise’s life has included careers in nursing, teaching pre-school, interior design, Real Estate sales, insurance adjusting, and dairy herd testing. Visit for Nutrition and Health.

Article Source: Article North directory

Copyright 2007 by MyLastingLove.com. All Rights Reserved.

Could you believe that it is possible to have a marriage relationship unpolluted by criticism? If that is possible, you might then ask, “Could a relationship without criticism be healthy?” Could you express your emotions and strongly disagree about something and yet still not criticize? The answer to all of these questions is yes (And, contrary to what and uncle once told me, one of them would not have to be dead).

The Upward Spiral of Communion

When you first meet someone, you talk, you get to know each other, you find you like each other, and you both want to talk more. Communication, knowledge and affection lead to a deep connection between you. I call this process “the upward spiral of communion.” You are connecting at the heart, mind and spirit level. There can be no criticism.

If he or she were to criticize you early in your relationship, it would break the connection and you would part. If you were to feel critical, you would just leave with a silent “I don’t need this.”
Consider that I’m talking about adult relationships, not the adolescent “I-can-change-him-after-we’re-married” version, or the “but-he-says-he’ll-change” version of relationships.

You Don’t Own Your Marriage Partner

Criticizing your marriage partner implies right of ownership and a right to control. You might believe you are responsible for your partner’s behavior, and they might even buy into it. But, you’re not. In fact I have met people who actually believe it’s their right to sit in judgment of everyone, including their spouse. That is not a healthy attitude for life, let alone a marriage.

Criticism, sitting in judgment over your spouse, can kick start you down the slippery slope towards a codependent, entangled marriage. It sneaks up on you. The entanglement of codependency leads to embarrassment, shame, family secrets, and a host of other dysfunctional behavior that makes true intimacy impossible.

Criticism as a Pollutant within a Marriage

True intimacy has no agenda, but for both of you it is full acceptance and connection at mental, emotional, spiritual and physical levels. Criticism kills intimacy.

Unfortunately, the frustration of lack of intimacy in a relationship leads to more criticism and to alienation.

Handling Disagreements without Criticism

Self care comes first. Both of you have gained a good understanding of and caring for your own needs as individual people. You have each developed a strong sense of self.

From this base you are each comfortable with expressing your needs, desires, wants, dreams and emotions with each other. You each are genuinely interested hearing your partner’s words about anything, because that is how you stay connected.

When two people are able to maintain this level of communion, there is little place for criticism.

When your spouse’s behavior upsets you, you express your upset. But at the same time you look inward to find the real cause of your frustration. After all, it is your problem, not your partner’s. You are the one that’s upset.

On the other hand your spouse was just expressing feelings about something, not intending to upset you; so seeing your upset, he or she may make changes if appropriate.

It is only unsolicited feedback, “criticism,” that causes disconnection, alienation and the destruction of intimacy. With that in mind, you can both ask for feedback on anything without fear of being judged.
If you are already in a relationship with criticism, make changes. Do it takes to reverse that life-sucking slide towards alienation.

Just think of criticism as pollution in your marriage and make up your minds to go green.

About the Author

Dr. Neill Neill, psychologist, author and columnist, maintains an active practice and works with addicted men in a rehab center. He writes practical self-help articles to move his reader towards a happier and more fulfilling life. Receive his free ebook Personal Change Manifesto by subscribing to his monthly letter, Practical Psychology for Capable People. http://www.neillneill.com

His current book is Living with a Functioning Alcoholic – A Woman’s Survival Guide.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Neill_Neill

Copyright 2007 by MyLastingLove.com. All Rights Reserved.