50th wedding anniversary planning can be a bit stressful! 50 years of making friends and family can mean that there would be lots of people to invite and the expectation of a great party as well as a big mixture of ages can add to the pressure. Not that I am trying to put you off! If you plan your anniversary party then there will be no need to panic.

You first need to think about the type of party that your golden couple would enjoy. My aunt and uncle had a big party, organised as a wedding, complete with dancing but my grandparents enjoyed a family meal at one of their favourite restaurants. Which would they enjoy?

When you have worked out if you are inviting everyone or just family you will have a rough idea of numbers. You will now need to find the venue! Look at local hotels and function facilities, get menu samples, bar prices and if not included, the room hire. Also ask around, a local community hall could be just what you are looking for in space and also facilities. A number of community centres have their own kitchen and just ask that you clear up afterwards. This could save you a fortune. If the couple are members of a local social club or golf club they may have membership discounts to hire the room, plus this is a venue known to them and the service would be great, you may even get a few extras.

When you are looking around any of the possible venues think about the size of the room – is everyone going to be seated at tables. The location – is it easy to find for your guests that are travelling, is there overnight accommodation if needed? And the decor – would you need to spend lots to make the room look nice?

When you have all the information, the next stage in your 50th wedding anniversary planning is to collate all of the facts; prices, sizes, ease, minimum numbers etc. We find the best way to do this is to have all of the information on a spreadsheet so that you can compare apples with apples. When you have made your decision you will need pay a deposit to the venue to secure the date, and make sure you read the contract!

Now that the venue is booked you will need to organise invitations and possibly accommodation. It would be a good idea to contact local hotels for prices so that you could include a list of possible places that your guests could stay in the invitation. Don’t get involved in booking accommodation, let your guests do that otherwise you may find that this will take up most of your time. Get your guests to reply with any special dietary requirements

Discuss catering with the venue or with the caterer when you have your replies so that they have all the details of children’s meals or special needs. You will need to confirm numbers a couple of weeks before the party – check with your venue as to what is best.

Organise any decor – it could be flowers, balloons, candles and either book with the decor company or get your volunteers ready! You may want to get into the venue the night before to get everything in place. Make sure your venue knows this as they may have another function on.

If you want to have a special 50th anniversary cake then you will need to book this with a baker in advance, some people have replicas of their wedding cake or the wedding cake they always wanted, others will have fun cakes that show off their personality.

Venue booked, invitations sent and received back, numbers confirmed, decorations done, cake ready at bakers, all that is left is to have a great 50th anniversary party!

Suz Daykin is the Editor of Anniversary Gifts By Year, the complete guide for anniversary gift ideas and how to organise great anniversary parties.

More 50th Anniversary Ideas Here

Copyright 2007 by MyLastingLove.com. All Rights Reserved.

1st Anniversary:

Traditional Gift: Paper – It symbolizes the strength in paper that comes from the interlaced connection of the paper’s individual threads.

Modern Gift: Clocks - Henry Van Dyke wrote, “For those who love, time is eternity.”

5th Anniversary:

Traditional Gift: Wood - The strength of a marriage bond is represented by the traditional gift of wood. Wood is strong and long-lasting.

Modern Gift: Silverware - The modern gift of silverware is a reminder of the connection couple formed as they shared meals with each other and their children (if any).

10th Anniversary:

Traditional Gift: Gold – Optimism and wealth are often associated with gold. Not only is the metal gold beautiful, it is strong, and resistant to corrosion.

Modern Gift: Diamond jewelry. A marriage that lasts ten years is as durable and beautiful as a diamond.

25th Anniversary:

Traditional Gift: Silver

Modern Gift: Silver – A great milestone for any marriage!

30th Anniversary:

Traditional Gift: Pearl

Modern Gift: Diamond

45th Anniversary:

Traditional Gift: Sapphire

Modern Gift: Sapphire

50th Anniversary:

Traditional Gift: Gold

Modern Gift: Gold – Optimism and wealth are often associated with gold. Not only is the metal gold beautiful, it is strong, and resistant to corrosion.

100th Anniversary:

Modern Gift: 10K Diamond

As mentioned, there are several ways to celebrate one’s anniversary; however, one popular and common theme is to renew your vows on that special day, as a reminder of what brought the couple together in the first place. When throwing a party, try to keep its décor in context with the symbols that represent the anniversary. For instance, make use of lots of silver glitter, plates and so on during a 25th wedding anniversary. Another way to make things interesting is to make plans to travel someplace new and exciting. Explore sights and sounds that have never been seen or heard of and it’s a sure way to rekindle or stoke the flames of a relationship. Other fun ideas include compiling a CD of music from that year of marriage, creating an anniversary scrapbook showing pictures of family and friends including couple.

By Kiya Sama

This article has been submitted in affiliation with http://www.Prye.Com/ which is a site for Wedding Invitations.

Copyright 2007 by MyLastingLove.com. All Rights Reserved.

They may have already bought their wives items such as flowers, candy, lingerie and jewelry and may feel as though repeating these gifts would not be appropriate. However, there are a lot of great gift ideas for men to give to their wives on Valentine’s Day. This article will focus on how men can update some of the traditional gift ideas and will also provide some unique gift ideas for men to give their wives on Valentine’s Day.

Candy is one of the most popular gifts for men to give to women on Valentine’s Day. Men who have given their wives a gift of candy in the past may feel as though it would be inappropriate to give her candy again. However, this is not true. Candy is a gift which is almost always appreciated on Valentine’s Day.

There are ways to make candy seem like a more original gift though. Men who normally give their wives a gift of an assortment of chocolates in a heart shaped box can search for other candy options available. For example, they may find chocolate covered strawberries available in a number of unique designs. They can also make a gift of candy more original by making the candy themselves.

Making candy is not difficult and can be a great deal of fun. While some women will always appreciate a gift of candy, she will be more surprised if you make the candy yourself because it shows you put more effort into the gift.

Jewelry is another popular gift idea for men to give to women on Valentine’s Day. Men may feel as though once they give their wife a few pieces of jewelry, there is no way to continue giving jewelry. However, this is not true. For example if you previously gave your wife a solitaire ring you might consider giving her a new ring with three stones to reflect the past, the present and your future together. You might even consider having the solitaire ring modified to include the additional stones.

You can also put a unique spin on gifts of jewelry by giving different stones or jewelry of different metals. However, when selecting a gift of jewelry for your wife on Valentine’s Day care should be taken to choose items that reflect her taste so you are sure your wife will love the gift and want to wear it often.

If you and your wife have children and excellent gift idea for Valentine’s Day is to present your wife with handmade coupons for free afternoons. You will take care of the kids during this time so your wife can go out and relax and enjoy some time to herself. Many women often feel guilty about leaving the children with their husbands to take time for themselves. This type of gift will make her more likely to take some time to get a manicure or do some shopping without feeling guilty because you will be volunteering to watch the kids so your wife will not feel like she is inconveniencing you by asking for some time to herself.

You can make this type of gift even more special by giving your wife a gift certificate to a beauty salon so she can go to get her hair done or have a manicure and pedicure. You can also plan a special activity for the kids while she is gone. For example you might sit with the kids and have them make a gift for their mom while she is gone. This way your wife will have some free time and will also receive a homemade gift from her children.

About the Author

by Ryan Smith. He is the owner of MyCirclePal.Com, one of the Net’s hottest community and social neworking sites! Post your free profile today at http://www.mycirclepal.com/

Article Source: Article North directory

Copyright 2007 by MyLastingLove.com. All Rights Reserved.

Throw a Valentines Day Party for the Kids

Get together with another couple you know that has kids and create an evening of Valentines fun for the kids. You can have them invite a few friends and plan a dinner (pizza and snacks) and some entertainment. You might allow them to have party games or watch a movie marathon of their choosing. What they do does not particularly matter.

While one couple is watching the kids, the other couple can sneak away for some much needed Valentines Day TLC. When the couple returns they can watch the kids and the other couple is off to have some fun. This ensures both you and your friends have a good time, and the kids do, too!

Celebrate in the Afternoon

If your children go to school or daycare during the day, the perfect solution is going to be for you to celebrate during the day. This gives you around eight hours of uninterrupted time with your lover. You will be free to roam the city or your house with your lover without your children.

Whether you choose to enjoy a quiet moment alone with your lover or you want to have some passionate lovemaking time, you will have plenty of time to do whatever pleases you both. Best of all, you will not have to worry about hurrying through the process, like you might if they were with friends or somewhere where the kids or other family members might come home too soon.

Send them to the Movies & the Arcade

If you have an older child or a willing babysitter, consider sending your kids out for a night on the town. Dinner, a movie, and some arcade fun can easily clear four to five hours in an evening. A lot of pleasurable activities can occur in that amount of time. This would give you some time to enjoy your lover in all those important ways you took for granted before you had kids and it won’t be that expensive to do either.

Make Use of Grandma/Aunt (Family)

If the kids have a grandma, aunt, or another family member who is constantly trying to spend more time with them and they do not have any plans, consider letting the kids stay the night with them on Valentines. Not only will this thrill your family member who gets to spend time with the kids, but it will also allow you to have a full night to yourselves.

You can create a sensual love den and do all of the things that you rarely get a chance to do. You can walk around naked or make love in any room of the house. By the end of the evening you will surely be elated and feeling better than you have in months!

Sneak off for Bath-time Fun

If the kids are home and they are there to stay there is still hope. Get them involved in an activity and then sneak off for some bath-time fun. One parent can head off and get the bath ready while the other parent handles the kids. Once the kids are immersed in their activities the bath should be ready to go.

Together, in the tub you can enjoy a sensual soak, some intimate conversation, and perhaps even some intimate lovemaking in the confines of your secret love nest. While this is not the most romantic option, if you miss time with your lover this is a good way to get it. Of course, you can always wait until the kids go to sleep.

About the Author

By Shayla Moore.
Shayla is a writer for http://www.oasislingerie.com She has many interesting topics and ideas for all to read about. Check out more of her articles.

Article Source: Article North directory

Copyright 2007 by MyLastingLove.com. All Rights Reserved.

So where to begin? First and foremost, you need to decide whether you are hosting a big get-together or a small intimate gathering. This decision should be based upon what your parents are most accustomed to and what they prefer. If you do not know, do some sneaky investigative work and find out. Secondly, you need to decide whether or not to have a traditional or contemporary anniversary party.

A traditional anniversary party usually adheres to the yearly material used for how long a couple has been married. In this case, the material is silver for 25 wonderful years of marriage. Most, tend to be more formal and are viewed as a second wedding reception. A contemporary wedding anniversary party is usually not as formal and incorporates other themes besides the traditional silver motif.

If you are going the traditional route, and have decided to host a large gathering, preparation and planning is a must. First, you need to decide who you are inviting and how many. Next, you need to pick a facility that can accommodate the amount of people anticipated. Although a person’s home can be used, most people tend to have parties at banquet or reception halls for easy parking and accessibility.

Creating invitations is where you can let your creativity shine. If you have extra cash, opt for professionally made ones. This will add a touch of elegance and class, and be a great scrapbook memento. Decide whether this is a black tie event or casual, and make sure to include in your invitation that this is a surprise party. You do NOT want to be getting a call from your parents asking how they can help!

Next, you need to decide how you will use your theme of silver in your decorations. There are many resources out there and party planning companies that can assist with these nit-picky details. As a rule of thumb, stick with silver as your primary color for decorating. Accent colors should complement the silver, not detract. For floral arrangements, the flower for the 25th is the iris which is a beautiful touch for center pieces.

Besides the decorating and invitations, food is very important. Depending on your budget you could provide a buffet for everyone, or go the economical route and provide shrimp cocktails and appetizers. Just make sure you have enough for all of your guests! As for dessert, it is nice to have another wedding cake. If your parents had a small wedding cake before, really go all out on this one by having a bigger and better cake.

As an added touch during their party, many prefer to show some sort of memorabilia for their parents, whether this be a slide show, movie, or specially made composite CD that highlights their loving and lasting relationship. It is also nice to find out what song they have danced to at their wedding and have them dance to it once more.

Next is the toast. Since you are hosting the party it is expected of you to give them a warm and heartfelt speech. Once again, spend plenty of time on this to show them how much you have appreciated them throughout the years.

Last but not least, is the gift. Since this is like a second wedding reception, if you can, splurge on getting them a second honeymoon. If you cannot afford it, tactfully include in the invitation that you are trying the help them go on a fabulous second honeymoon and see if you can raise the money. Try to top their first honeymoon and make it one they will never forget! If you are really tapped out, be creative and give them a gift that is related to the theme of silver. This does not necessarily mean jewelry or silverware, you could give them a gift basket filled with various items they would really enjoy. Let it be imaginative and come from the heart.

As for a contemporary or smaller wedding anniversary party, a back-yard barbecue may be completely acceptable. You could also have a themed party, like mardi-gras, disco, costume, and so forth. A themed party may be formal if you choose, but remember to make it classier if you can. Even if you are having a smaller or less formal get-together, a dedication to your parents should still be made to show them your love.

For the surprise element of the party, tell your parents weeks in advance that as a present for their anniversary, you have reserved them a table at some chic restaurant. If
it is not a fancy party you are having, tell them you have tickets to an event like a concert or play. Do not tell them who or what it is so they do not get their hopes up. After all, you want them to be surprised and happier that their having a party not going to see their favorite singer perform!

And as always, there are certain things that should not be done at a party. Although it may be amusing to belabor how long they have been married, it is not appropriate or funny to make your parents feel old. They already know!

No matter what route you end up choosing for a party, make sure it comes from the heart and will be a day they will cherish for the rest of their lives.

My Gift Basket Ideas is an online gift basket store that specializes in great gift ideas for every occasion.

Copyright 2007 by MyLastingLove.com. All Rights Reserved.

Husbands can create a loving environment and successful marriage by showing their wives how much they are loved and cherished. In his ground-breaking book, “Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars,” John Gray outlined the important differences between men and women. One of his key findings is that wives love to be touched and held.

Wives love to be told, in a gentle and humble way, how important they are to their husbands. One of the most touching ways that a husband can show honor and respect to his wife is to write a personal wedding song for her. No matter if a husband has been married for a month or longer than 50 years, he can renew his marriage every day with a personal wedding song.

“What me sing? No way!” most husbands may say. “I can’t carry a tune, let alone do a solo.” While it may seem challenging, a personal wedding song is simply a love poem set to music. I know from personal experience of writing, recording and singing a wedding song to my wife, that it can be done. When I started, I had no guidance, just a gut intuition. All it takes to get started is to know what steps to take and then take the first step. Here are six steps every husband can take to show his wife what a treasure she is.

Step One. Acknowledge Your Wife

Write down five attributes that you love about your wife and admire her for. What five would you choose? Is she, an excellent listener, your best friend? Does she have a friendly and warm smile or a hilarious sense of humor? Does she love to surprise you? If you can list ten or more things, all the better.

Step Two: Write Down the Special Things She Loves

What does your wife treasure? My wife Cheryl loves purple, she loves to hold hands and be hugged, she is very action oriented, she is so thoughtful, she never forgets a family member’s birthday. She loves greeting cards, music, plays, going out to dinner. She is very wise about relationships. A personal wedding song should focus on what is unique and special to your wife and your relationship.

Step Three: Put Yourself and Your Feelings into the Song

I wrote a personal wedding song for my wife after 14 years of marriage. I titled it “Song of Our Marriage.” I wrote a touching refrain that honored her with a title, her role in my life and what that has done for me. The lyrics to the refrain go like this:

“Teacher of wisdom, you’ve shown me God’s face, your strength is gentle and fine as white lace. You listen with heart strings that sing out a song, it’s your love that makes me feel strong.”

Using your list in Step 2, choose several of your wife’s best traits and write down what they mean to you. If you need help with rhyming, you can get a Rhyming Dictionary. Or you can read books of poems or search the Internet through a Google Search to get a starter idea. Make sure to personalize your words, though, so that they come from your heart. You want to be authentic; a cheap copy of someone else passed off as your own may work against you.

Step Four: Make It Simple: Two Verses and a Refrain (more if you can)

Make your personal wedding song easy to sing, but unique to your wife. For example, remember the poems that start, “Roses are red, violets are blue?” You can expand that phrase into a verse, like:

“Roses are red, violets are blue,

I can’t see myself living without you.
You are my wife, the crown of my life,
my life would be empty without you.”

Step Five: Use a Familiar Tune for the Music

Did you know that is acceptable to “borrow” a melody (as long as you don’t sell it or claim it as your own) for your personal wedding song? In fact, if your wife has a special song that she likes, you might learn how to write lyrics that go along with it. If you get serious, you could find a musician or studio to help. When I wrote “Song of Our Marriage,” I figured out the melody by humming it, plunking out the keys on a piano and then finding a studio that produced the accompaniment. Use the Internet to find someone who can help. With downloadable MP3 files, you can actually produce a song on your PC.

Step Six: Sing the Song to Your Wife and Frame the Lyrics

Now comes the most important part – the delivery. Don’t write a personal wedding song and then stick it in your golf bag. Perform it for your wife. Record it. Frame the lyrics and hang the song in your bedroom or kitchen. For “Song of Our Marriage,” I created even a photo album with pictures of my wife in Lilac Park, in Disney World, with her friends, and more in several sections. Each section of the album reflected the verse and refrain from the personal wedding song.

There you have it, six steps to writing a personal wedding song for your wife. It takes work. If I can do it, you can do it too. Go ahead, take a risk. Your wife will be deeply moved by your touching gift and care for her.

About the Author

Dave Pipitone is a business owner, author, parent, husband and professional communications manager, writer and editor. Visit http://www.songofourmarriage.com
Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dave_Pipitone

Copyright 2007 by MyLastingLove.com. All Rights Reserved.

The out-of-pocket cost of marriage counseling can be greatly reduced when the marital strain is affecting one or both of the partners and increasing symptoms like anxiety or depression. If the couple chooses a licensed mental health provider they may be able to use their health insurance benefits for covered family therapy sessions in order to alleviate their symptoms. In such cases insurance may cover a large portion of the costs. However, no insurance company will cover therapy just to improve a marriage. Some private information, at least a diagnosis of a mental disorder, will have to be documented and released to the insurance company.

Many times the marriage may not lack love or commitment but the partners may need relationship skills such as assertiveness, emotional regulation, and communication skills. A good marriage counselor will help the couple focus on the process of improving the relationship, increasing intimacy, and resolving conflict, as well as teaching skills. Many couples are not able to do this without a neutral person guiding them. It also takes an investment of time and effort to change habits.

So what is the return of investment on a thousand dollars or several thousand dollars spent on marital counseling?

The success of marriage counseling is not guaranteed. Therefore it is an investment that has a certain amount of risk.
It is possible that both partners will leave the counseling sessions feeling it was a complete loss of time and money. However, that risk may be smaller than you would think. A recent study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family (Volume 22, Number 1) reported surprisingly high rates of satisfaction in a survey of clients from 526 marriage and family counselors in 15 different states. More than 90% of the respondents rated the services as good or excellent, said they got the help they desired, said they were satisfied with the amount of help they received, said they were helped in dealing more effectively with problems, and said they were generally satisfied with the help they received.

The potential monetary return on investment of successful marriage counseling could be enormous. Think about these few obvious potential sources of monetary return:
·The cost savings of legal fees for divorce and child custody proceedings.
·The cost savings of maintaining one household instead of two.
·The cost savings of more secure children and avoiding the tendency of parents to try to buy children things out of guilt.
·The cost savings of transportation due to shared parenting in two households.
·The cost savings from not losing work time for divorce/custody activities.
·The cost savings from avoiding a second (or third) wedding. Not to mention dating and honeymoon expenses.
·The health care cost savings. Research has shown that strong marriages are a big factor in health and longevity.

But the cost savings are minor compared to the potential benefits compared to other things our money could be spent on. What is the potential return of investment on a good marriage?

Even if marriage counseling may cost more than a thousand dollars, how many things have more potential for increasing our quality of life and happiness than a good, secure intimate relationship? Adults who would not question spending thousands of dollars for braces or for a good education should seriously think about what a good marriage would mean to themselves and their children in terms of health, happiness, and success in the future.

About the Author

by Susan Huebert
L.S.C.S.W. Susan has practiced counseling in Wichita KS for over 15 years. Visit her Marriage Counseling Wichita site to learn more about marriage counseling.

Article Source: Article North directory

Copyright 2007 by MyLastingLove.com. All Rights Reserved.

The challenge nowadays is particularly severe. As more and more young men and women are working in far-away places, away from each other. The traditional way to connect to each other by loving touches, caresses or cuddling are not there. Additionally, absent are opportunities to spend quality time in each others company as well as in the company of friends and relatives and acquaintances. What about conflicts and arguments? These, in their own way, strengthen relationships and can make them more fulfilling. If your are apart, then it is extremely difficult to resolve these in a nurturing way.

So how do long distance couples maintain their relationships and keep on going? One way is to bring your partner near to you by placing their photograph on your desk, kitchen counter and in the bedroom. This will remind you of your companion all the time. You should also regularly update your common acquaintances with your partner and not allow him or her go out of your social loop. This will help maintain the picture of your partner constantly fresh in your mind.

Use e-mail, chat and voice mail to stay in constant touch with your partner. This communication need not be limited to How much I miss you and love you line but to real discussions concerning day to day issues. You furthermore have to work out who will take care of kids. The choice ought to be based on practicality, and not on customary arguments that the mother ought to bring up the child.

Yes, the mother is most suitable to bring up a child. But if she is working in a place where there are no decent schools then it is the father who has to accept this responsibility. So, even if you are separated, your problems are the same as any couple, and you should still try to resolve them together as a team.

Try and be with each other on at least one occasion a month or once a quarter depending upon the circumstances. Also do not insist that only your partner ought to travel. You also must take time off your agenda and visit your partner as well. Allow there to be a healthy and common respect for each others work. Only then will your relationship endure across the long distance.

Thought it is tough to thrive in this type of situation, a strong trusting relationship will endure this. In the end the hardships faced as a team can be a really positive long term binding effect for the future of the relationship.

About the Author

by Udo Vieth
. Udo has a website dedicated to
Relationship Secrets. Check it out for the latest on how to make your Relationship Sizzle.

Article Source: Article North directory

Copyright 2007 by MyLastingLove.com. All Rights Reserved.

What are the reasons for marriage failures? First and foremost, a couple should understand the reasons for their marriage failures and relentlessly, try to save their marriage. There are several reasons that can cause marriages to fail often leading to separations and divorce. Reasons behind a marriage failure are likely having a misunderstanding where lack of communication from couples are experienced, arguments due to money matters, infidelity and reasons whether the marriage at the beginning was a failure.

In order to save a marriage, the couples must be willing to undergo some changes in the way their marriage is viewed. Effort, patience, and understanding are necessary to make a marriage work. The following factors can help marriage failures save marriage by adding efforts by renewing the relationship between both partners.

Mutual interests are important for married couples where couples need to have intimate moments together to share and learn about mutual interests of their partners, where differences can arise that through understanding can ensure respect and a stronger relationship for marriage couples.

Unpredictable schedules can also cause marriage failures, whereas both partners lack time for one another. Togetherness, after marriage, is very important most especially in time spent together, where passion and intimacy is practiced. But without the proper time given to their partners, they tend to loss interest and begin to disregard one another.

Communication is a very important matter in a marriage. Lack of communications means also lack of understanding, whereas couples tend to quarrel without considering any feelings for their partners, therefore, a continuance of their misunderstandings are left unresolved.

Criticism in a gentle-like manner is likely to save a marriage. Couples often make gestures offensively without their knowing, resulting for the partner to make criticisms that can lead to arguing. As much as possible, offensive criticism should be avoided in marriages, whereas gentle criticism can make the relationship in a marriage stronger.

Another factor is children, and having children in a marriage relationship are wonderful yet it can also cause marriage failure. Because as children, they tend to give problems that can arise in differences with the couples due to possible different disciplining tactics for their children.

Gifts are beautiful ways to give to a spouse as a sign of their love and with gift-giving, a spouse can woo their partner and even warm the heart of the spouse helpful to saving a marriage.

Saving a marriage is very typical for those couples that still have love in their hearts. As said, romance should always be alive in a marital relationship because if there is love, marriage becomes stronger and longer for the couples. With just a little effort from both partners can liven up the relationship in the marriage and make marriage worthwhile for couples on the verge of a break up.

Most partners have disputes about sex and money, but having terms of endearment allows both partners to remember the main reasons why they got married. As such, renewal of vows is also advisable for saving a marriage because vows tend to challenge couples to reach their goals in having a perfect marriage.

Marriage can be perfect especially for couples in love but having a perfect marriage needs effort from both partners. Marital problems can result in divorce and separation, however, with the right tips for saving marriage, couples will be able to cope and solve their marital problems.

About the Author

By Hector Milla, editor of http://www.mygoodmarriage.com/ :: tips on saving a good marriage ::

Article Source: Article North directory

Copyright 2007 by MyLastingLove.com. All Rights Reserved.

First of all, the normal hurdles that younger couples have to work their way through are seldom of concern. Careers are over for most seniors. Children are raised and have left home. Home buying and other major acquisitions were made in the distant past. Well, then, it sounds like all should be quiet on the romantic front, doesn’t it?

That’s not necessarily so. Seniors who have reached an advanced age, say past seventy, have often established some very strong opinions. One person put it to me this way…”There are a lot of ways to go to the mailbox.” It isn’t something that is often noticed on the surface. Habits become solidified and attitudes, opinions and reactions become pretty firmly entrenched without much fanfare. Long, comfortable marriages seem to support the “I Did It My Way” that Frank Sinatra once sang about.

Seniors who find themselves alone, usually because of the loss of a partner, don’t have current skills at dating and selecting a mate. How could they? And what worked in their late teens or early twenties is usually way beyond obsolete. Unfortunately, most “don’t know that they don’t know” and assumptions are usually rampant.

Dating often becomes a stiff affair involving a meal out with friends or alone and maybe a movie. More often than not, a marriage is contracted with no baseline of reality to hold it together. Each partner knows how things should be, which is how they always were in the past, right? Wrong! Issues of all kinds arise when no serious consideration is given to varying points of view.

The land of assumptions is the direct opposite of deep, investigative conversations. What should be seriously addressed are attitudes about sexual behavior, the handling of finances, the division of labor in the home and yard and how various adult children are going to be involved. And that’s just for starters.

Even when this is done, deep honesty may be by-passed. Telling it how it would be “lov-er-ly”…not how it is can be an easy trap to fall into when trying to win someone over. Often adult children react to a late in life marriage of a cherished parent differently than the hopeful parent thought they would. In other words, they may be hard to second guess.

One senior couple I know quite well sailed into marital bliss with the wife being promised “nooners” by a husband who was sure she would be the cure for his sexual impotence. He also guaranteed that his grown kids would love anyone he loved and that turned out to be a bust. They hadn’t talked about finances because neither of them was comfortable with the subject, so another hurdle loomed. A decade later they are doing very well but it looked, from my vantage point at least, like it was a long, uphill climb.

What seems to work is to take it slow and easy, and see what evolves. Neither partner can be a replacement for the one who is gone. New attitudes may have to be considered and new patterns created. When seniors marry it is not usually a rerun of an early-in-life romance where the pieces just fall in place automatically. It is new and different and needs to be treated with great respect. Seniors are wiser, we can all hope, but not as durable in most cases. The resilience of youth has usually come and gone.

Anyone wanting to remarry late in life might be wise to talk with other senior newly-weds, their own grown kids, a beloved minister and/or even a counselor. Why not stack the deck favorably?

About the Author

by Luise Volta
.
Luise’s life has included careers in nursing, teaching pre-school, interior design, Real Estate sales, insurance adjusting, and dairy herd testing. Visit for Nutrition and Health.

Article Source: Article North directory

Copyright 2007 by MyLastingLove.com. All Rights Reserved.